Going to the empty room unnerves as much as it excites him; a mix of every thinkable emotion swirling in my mind. Those four white walls echo his every thought, his every verbal musing. The thought of its omnipresence sent shivers down his spine; how can an inanimate being know him better than himself?
Closing his eyes as he felt the walls, he was jerked back into time where he faced a live feed of everything that was going through him now; the mother he wished he never neglected, the job he wished he never screwed up, the wife he wished he never abused. Those thoughts came like waves, drowning him alive, and he felt like he couldn't breathe, suffocated by his agonies and regrets.
He started envisioning a life without those mistakes; a happy family with his parents gardening in the backyard, kids fighting over the remote and a faithful wife busy preparing a hot meal for them. The warmth of that thought restored the glow back to his cheeks and the corners of his mouth did something they haven't done in a long time: fold upwards. Finally, there was something worth fighting for; his life wasn't finished with him. After a seemingly endless struggle in the pitch black tunnel, he could see a glimmer of hope in the form of a steady stream of light from beyond.
-and he opened his eyes to see the all too familiar white walls.
Oh that's right;
it was all just his imagination.
He turned off the lights and shut the door behind him as he dragged his feet out.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Post-school
So.. I heard my blog scream neglect so I hightailed over to rescue it.
The bad thing about not being bored is that I won't have the motivation to blog. It's quite ironic how I need something crappy to give me the push I need.
What have I been doing these days? Unlike most students, (ROFL) I don't have to wake up at 6 in the morning, I don't have to dread Mondays, and most of all, I travel on empty buses.
YOU JELLY?!
Moving on, do you have a friend who tries too hard to fit into your group? To further his efforts, he emulates everything that his friends do. You have a girlfriend? He's gonna hit on every girl he sees. You take pictures? He's gonna use his cheap Nokia phone and go around taking crappy shots. You swear? He's gonna talk like Kanye West. You swim? He'll drown, end of story.
Not that I don't feel sorry for these people who're obviously socially inept, but why try so hard to fit in when you can simply be yourself? When I look for a friend, I don't care if you're unattractive, I don't care if you still play YuGiOh cards.. LOL jk, if you do, fuck off. But seriously, you don't have to impress me to be my friend, I'm happy with a Plain Jane or a Normal Norman; in fact, I prefer you un-awesome people than the popular kids on the block. I guess in that sense, it makes you more awesome actually.
So please, if you, yes you right there, are insecure, or think you're doing that, stop it right now. Don't let society talk you down, don't be the person that other people want you to be, just be you. If I wanted to make friends with awesome people I would've talked to the mirror all day.
ROFL jk.
Happy first week of not working you scrubs!
The bad thing about not being bored is that I won't have the motivation to blog. It's quite ironic how I need something crappy to give me the push I need.
What have I been doing these days? Unlike most students, (ROFL) I don't have to wake up at 6 in the morning, I don't have to dread Mondays, and most of all, I travel on empty buses.
YOU JELLY?!
Moving on, do you have a friend who tries too hard to fit into your group? To further his efforts, he emulates everything that his friends do. You have a girlfriend? He's gonna hit on every girl he sees. You take pictures? He's gonna use his cheap Nokia phone and go around taking crappy shots. You swear? He's gonna talk like Kanye West. You swim? He'll drown, end of story.
Not that I don't feel sorry for these people who're obviously socially inept, but why try so hard to fit in when you can simply be yourself? When I look for a friend, I don't care if you're unattractive, I don't care if you still play YuGiOh cards.. LOL jk, if you do, fuck off. But seriously, you don't have to impress me to be my friend, I'm happy with a Plain Jane or a Normal Norman; in fact, I prefer you un-awesome people than the popular kids on the block. I guess in that sense, it makes you more awesome actually.
So please, if you, yes you right there, are insecure, or think you're doing that, stop it right now. Don't let society talk you down, don't be the person that other people want you to be, just be you. If I wanted to make friends with awesome people I would've talked to the mirror all day.
ROFL jk.
Happy first week of not working you scrubs!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
TODAY
On this day:
116 - Emperor Trajan sends laureatae to the Roman Senate at Rome on account of his victories and being the conqueror of Parthia.
1646 - Battle of Torrington; the last major battle of the first English Civil War.
1940 - World War II: Altmark Incident: The German tanker Altmark is boarded by sailots from the British destroyer HMS Cossack. 299 British prisoners are freed.
2012 - The seemingly prophetic events added up to summarize the accumulation of pent up emotions after 4 months - 17 weeks of pure fuckery.
We're free.
116 - Emperor Trajan sends laureatae to the Roman Senate at Rome on account of his victories and being the conqueror of Parthia.
1646 - Battle of Torrington; the last major battle of the first English Civil War.
1940 - World War II: Altmark Incident: The German tanker Altmark is boarded by sailots from the British destroyer HMS Cossack. 299 British prisoners are freed.
2012 - The seemingly prophetic events added up to summarize the accumulation of pent up emotions after 4 months - 17 weeks of pure fuckery.
We're free.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
1 More Day
I would like to take this time to pay tribute to the most reliable staff in the department, and that is my laptop. The old, bulky and outdated lump of circuitry and plastics has surprisingly served me pretty damn well.
So thank you, dear laptop, even though you were presented to me by the spawn of King Kong, you helped me in my numerous conquests against the sickly bastard. My entire guide was born, polished and completed right here, in your warm body, absorbing my ideas and glee as I turned you against your own master. Thank you, for entertaining me when the ugly chimp wasn't around. Thank you, for responding to promptly to my frantic tab-changing requests so my manager wouldn't catch me ogling at pictures of Emma Watson.
These past 4 months with you were nothing but awesome. You're like the loyal butler who stays to serve, regardless of the frequent change in users; even when everyone else has written your abode off. Although your shitty USB ports were a tad annoying, I'll write that off without a second thought; on account of your outstanding services to my every whim and fancy.
As I depart from this place, I anticipate a tinge of sadness, walking out that front door never to return. And it's because of you, my friend. I hope you'll serve the next intern well.
Live long and prosper.
So thank you, dear laptop, even though you were presented to me by the spawn of King Kong, you helped me in my numerous conquests against the sickly bastard. My entire guide was born, polished and completed right here, in your warm body, absorbing my ideas and glee as I turned you against your own master. Thank you, for entertaining me when the ugly chimp wasn't around. Thank you, for responding to promptly to my frantic tab-changing requests so my manager wouldn't catch me ogling at pictures of Emma Watson.
These past 4 months with you were nothing but awesome. You're like the loyal butler who stays to serve, regardless of the frequent change in users; even when everyone else has written your abode off. Although your shitty USB ports were a tad annoying, I'll write that off without a second thought; on account of your outstanding services to my every whim and fancy.
As I depart from this place, I anticipate a tinge of sadness, walking out that front door never to return. And it's because of you, my friend. I hope you'll serve the next intern well.
Live long and prosper.
Monday, February 13, 2012
2 More Days
Ahh, I just love feedback forms. It gives me the opportunity to lie through my teeth about how I have absolutely no problem at all about everything.
The problem with these feedback forms; especially in schools and companies, is that the management really doesn't care about your well-being. At first glance, you might be slightly cheered by the fact that they seem to value your opinions. That's true to a certain extent, but they really just want to protect their reputation and tell you that "it's not what you think it is, but here's a $5 voucher you can use at your local supermarket."
This is startlingly true in my company. After reading a good number of feedback forms specially designed for resignees, I see many of them refusing to give their true opinions because "this form will be read like a book", according to a handful of them, and "they will probably be blacklisted", according to others. All that despite the assurance printed in black and white, that "this document will be kept strictly confidential." Now why are people not convinced? I wonder..
maybe it's because menial workers like myself have full access to these forms? At this point, I really want to question the ethics of the modern working world. Oh wait that's right, there aren't any in the first place. It's just a huge game of deception to see who can tell the biggest lie and get away with it. I guess I shouldn't have expected much from this piece of trash in the first place. After all,
it's a subsidiary of the HDB.
aka government tool.
Hey when you guys see me on the streets, do me a favor and don't ask me where I've worked during my internship. I don't want to live the shame of having worked for an utterly useless company. ):
On a lighter note, happy Singles' Day! I wonder why that isn't a proper event. It's not like couples are in any way superior to all the single people out there. They need some love too.
And as explained in my earlier post, it just gives jerks the opportunity to play the lovable, caring and considerate bf/gf to further the illusion that they're actually good couple material.
Talk about lies this month.
The problem with these feedback forms; especially in schools and companies, is that the management really doesn't care about your well-being. At first glance, you might be slightly cheered by the fact that they seem to value your opinions. That's true to a certain extent, but they really just want to protect their reputation and tell you that "it's not what you think it is, but here's a $5 voucher you can use at your local supermarket."
This is startlingly true in my company. After reading a good number of feedback forms specially designed for resignees, I see many of them refusing to give their true opinions because "this form will be read like a book", according to a handful of them, and "they will probably be blacklisted", according to others. All that despite the assurance printed in black and white, that "this document will be kept strictly confidential." Now why are people not convinced? I wonder..
maybe it's because menial workers like myself have full access to these forms? At this point, I really want to question the ethics of the modern working world. Oh wait that's right, there aren't any in the first place. It's just a huge game of deception to see who can tell the biggest lie and get away with it. I guess I shouldn't have expected much from this piece of trash in the first place. After all,
it's a subsidiary of the HDB.
aka government tool.
Hey when you guys see me on the streets, do me a favor and don't ask me where I've worked during my internship. I don't want to live the shame of having worked for an utterly useless company. ):
On a lighter note, happy Singles' Day! I wonder why that isn't a proper event. It's not like couples are in any way superior to all the single people out there. They need some love too.
And as explained in my earlier post, it just gives jerks the opportunity to play the lovable, caring and considerate bf/gf to further the illusion that they're actually good couple material.
Talk about lies this month.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
3 More Days
I'm fucking tired.
Woke up at 2.30am expecting a match in-game, but it was cancelled in the end.
Fuckitty fuck fuck fuck.
None of that matters though, I'm 3 days away from paradise!
Just a few days back, I made a funny. I was like, "If my lecturer asks me what I've gained from this internship, I'll say, "Just my weight."" I'm pretty funny am I not?
My cousin claims that after internship, a normally loose pair of pants is now tight, even without a belt. Sadly, he's not the only one facing that agony. I swore I could squeeze in between the narrow space between two hawker center tables on the first day of work.
Let's talk about Valentine's Day. And because I'm single and hopelessly unwanted, I have every right to bitch about it. LOL jk. I think Valentine's shouldn't be just for a day. I think if a couple really loves each other, they would well.. LOVE. Live Out Valentine's Everyday. If I really wanted to surprise my girlfriend, why should I do it on Valentine's, when she's most likely to expect one, which really just nullifies the whole idea; yay logic! Instead, I'd do it on an ordinary day. So really, other than corny surprises, reckless confessions and sex, which anyone can do any day, Valentine's just a meek reminder that hey, you haven't treated your other half right for awhile, I think you should start today!
Well, have you?
Woke up at 2.30am expecting a match in-game, but it was cancelled in the end.
Fuckitty fuck fuck fuck.
None of that matters though, I'm 3 days away from paradise!
Just a few days back, I made a funny. I was like, "If my lecturer asks me what I've gained from this internship, I'll say, "Just my weight."" I'm pretty funny am I not?
My cousin claims that after internship, a normally loose pair of pants is now tight, even without a belt. Sadly, he's not the only one facing that agony. I swore I could squeeze in between the narrow space between two hawker center tables on the first day of work.
Let's talk about Valentine's Day. And because I'm single and hopelessly unwanted, I have every right to bitch about it. LOL jk. I think Valentine's shouldn't be just for a day. I think if a couple really loves each other, they would well.. LOVE. Live Out Valentine's Everyday. If I really wanted to surprise my girlfriend, why should I do it on Valentine's, when she's most likely to expect one, which really just nullifies the whole idea; yay logic! Instead, I'd do it on an ordinary day. So really, other than corny surprises, reckless confessions and sex, which anyone can do any day, Valentine's just a meek reminder that hey, you haven't treated your other half right for awhile, I think you should start today!
Well, have you?
Thursday, February 9, 2012
6 More Days
I declare internship to be over after today, cause the last four days are for me to not give a fuck about anything related to the company.
Since I'm in such high spirits today, I want to take an opening shot at STOMP. In case some of you are wondering, STOMP is an acronym for a
Site
That
Obscenely
Manipulates
Pictures
Of all the horrible, last ditch efforts put in by our completely useless media authorities to make the local scene even remotely appealing, this little site has got to be the most tragic of the lot. It's original aim was to bring life to the flaccid dick of our local media and portray Singapore in a manner unknown to most people, mostly in the form of pictures; aka Singapore Seen. However, a couple of years and some worthless moderating, we now have an arsenal full of pointless posts packed to the brim with invasive pictures of couples, Facebook statuses and stolen pictures.
You look at these posts:
'KPKB' girl wishes mom dead for being naggy
Not 1 but 2 couples making out in public
If you think this fuckery isn't enough for you to let loose a river of obscenities directed towards this garbage of a website, then check this out:
The editors of STOMP actually allows these posts, and pays the authors 50 bucks each.
They don't filter these contents in the name of entertainment and thus, stroking the ego of these cock sucking idiots , leading them to think that they're actual vigilante journalists when they're really just a bunch of trash-eating parasitical scums evicted from the third world slums that they came from and now they're trying to make up for those years of abuse under drunken fathers and also perhaps, the complete absence of any kind of social life at all.
So if you're reading this, and you're guilty of posting such nonsense, go back to where you came from, and I don't mean your house, but rather your mother's vagina. Seriously, nobody wants you. With no girlfriend, no intelligence, no parents and most of all, no hope, you're desperately flailing about, trying to get some attention from your fellow scums. Guess it worked though, cause the good fellows at STOMP are not making you nerds full-time jerks.
Have fun!
Since I'm in such high spirits today, I want to take an opening shot at STOMP. In case some of you are wondering, STOMP is an acronym for a
Site
That
Obscenely
Manipulates
Pictures
Of all the horrible, last ditch efforts put in by our completely useless media authorities to make the local scene even remotely appealing, this little site has got to be the most tragic of the lot. It's original aim was to bring life to the flaccid dick of our local media and portray Singapore in a manner unknown to most people, mostly in the form of pictures; aka Singapore Seen. However, a couple of years and some worthless moderating, we now have an arsenal full of pointless posts packed to the brim with invasive pictures of couples, Facebook statuses and stolen pictures.
You look at these posts:
'KPKB' girl wishes mom dead for being naggy
Not 1 but 2 couples making out in public
If you think this fuckery isn't enough for you to let loose a river of obscenities directed towards this garbage of a website, then check this out:
The editors of STOMP actually allows these posts, and pays the authors 50 bucks each.
They don't filter these contents in the name of entertainment and thus, stroking the ego of these cock sucking idiots , leading them to think that they're actual vigilante journalists when they're really just a bunch of trash-eating parasitical scums evicted from the third world slums that they came from and now they're trying to make up for those years of abuse under drunken fathers and also perhaps, the complete absence of any kind of social life at all.
So if you're reading this, and you're guilty of posting such nonsense, go back to where you came from, and I don't mean your house, but rather your mother's vagina. Seriously, nobody wants you. With no girlfriend, no intelligence, no parents and most of all, no hope, you're desperately flailing about, trying to get some attention from your fellow scums. Guess it worked though, cause the good fellows at STOMP are not making you nerds full-time jerks.
Have fun!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
7 More Days
Welcome to part 3, and 7's the lucky number today!
I want to talk about the different masks you can put on while traversing the uncharted lands of the corporate world.
Clearly not having the characteristics to be well-liked in a land of shit, I have to lower my standards a little. From Day 1 of my internship, I acted like a completely different person to the people watching me. Sure, we all do that, but how about when that one person is sitting next to you? aka your supervisor.
So after 4 months of deceit, what does my supervisor think of me?
According to him, I
appear to be a very devout Christian,
like talking about religion,
aim to make peace with my enemies. (My favorite part)
Not too long ago, he suggested that I write a "peace treaty" (really just a little note) to The Chimp in a bid to quell the tension that he claimed there was (I was having fun though).
I gave him one, with a hidden message of course; so in case one of you readers think I've gone insane, don't worry.
Upon reading it, he flashed one of his trademark sincere smile at me and remarked that I was indeed sincere in wanting a truce!
I mean, did he not see that the first letter from every sentence adds up to read "Fuck you cunt"?
Oh wait..
I just love messing with these so-called adults.
I want to talk about the different masks you can put on while traversing the uncharted lands of the corporate world.
Clearly not having the characteristics to be well-liked in a land of shit, I have to lower my standards a little. From Day 1 of my internship, I acted like a completely different person to the people watching me. Sure, we all do that, but how about when that one person is sitting next to you? aka your supervisor.
So after 4 months of deceit, what does my supervisor think of me?
According to him, I
appear to be a very devout Christian,
like talking about religion,
aim to make peace with my enemies. (My favorite part)
Not too long ago, he suggested that I write a "peace treaty" (really just a little note) to The Chimp in a bid to quell the tension that he claimed there was (I was having fun though).
I gave him one, with a hidden message of course; so in case one of you readers think I've gone insane, don't worry.
Upon reading it, he flashed one of his trademark sincere smile at me and remarked that I was indeed sincere in wanting a truce!
I mean, did he not see that the first letter from every sentence adds up to read "Fuck you cunt"?
Oh wait..
I just love messing with these so-called adults.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
8 More Days
So it's Wednesday and that means part 2 of my mini series as I edge closer to freedom.
I, like most people, grew up believing that time passes when you're having fun but crawls otherwise.
That was startlingly true back in secondary school. The endless math lessons, the endless cycle of school, sleep and school; I can't stress enough how happy I was when I finally graduated.
When it came to internship however, I realised that time passed really quickly, even though being exposed to the corporate world was notably more exhausting and ridiculous. Upon reflection, I can't believe how wrong I've been. Time seems to crawl only when you don't have anything to hope for. When I was in secondary school, I never had anything to look forward to. Now, having come to appreciate the tiniest things in life, I have everything I need to give me hope even in the crappiest of days.
I look forward to having lunch with my cousin.
I look forward to walking down those flights of stairs on the way down.
I look forward to boarding the bus that will ultimately take me home.
I look forward to my mother's cooking when I finally reach home.
I look forward to taking a hot shower and then diving into my bed.
Most of all,
I look forward to the last day at work when I can give every single asshole the good ol'
HOPE. I HAS IT!
I, like most people, grew up believing that time passes when you're having fun but crawls otherwise.
That was startlingly true back in secondary school. The endless math lessons, the endless cycle of school, sleep and school; I can't stress enough how happy I was when I finally graduated.
When it came to internship however, I realised that time passed really quickly, even though being exposed to the corporate world was notably more exhausting and ridiculous. Upon reflection, I can't believe how wrong I've been. Time seems to crawl only when you don't have anything to hope for. When I was in secondary school, I never had anything to look forward to. Now, having come to appreciate the tiniest things in life, I have everything I need to give me hope even in the crappiest of days.
I look forward to having lunch with my cousin.
I look forward to walking down those flights of stairs on the way down.
I look forward to boarding the bus that will ultimately take me home.
I look forward to my mother's cooking when I finally reach home.
I look forward to taking a hot shower and then diving into my bed.
Most of all,
I look forward to the last day at work when I can give every single asshole the good ol'
HOPE. I HAS IT!
Monday, February 6, 2012
9 More Days - Job Advance
Eagerly counting down the days to freedom (which by the way explains my long absence), I take a stand against the company that has so far, been less than worthless to my academic journey. Key word: academic.
Not that I've ever cared about my education since picking up that IT course, but this internship really sums up the amount of stuff I've learnt in poly. So with my shitty GPA, what's next for me? Going to a government university seems close to impossible, and going into a private one is just too damn expensive.
Just then I realised that the best direction in life is to go live like a nomad.
What do I mean? Well I don't mean literally live like one.. oh wait that's exactly what I meant.
I find it amusing when people say things like, "If I had a million dollars I'd travel around the world!" That's how much people these days have stopped relying on themselves. Whenever you think of a vacation, what's the first thing that pops up? An airplane; taking a nap on your seat while the pilot whisks you off to your destination. Food; choosing chicken over fish while your look at your menu. Movies; watching a quick in-flight entertainment. And finally, hotels and shopping centers; cause you know, you can only find those OUTSIDE your country.
Whatever happened to traveling by foot, or by a bicycle? You tell me its impractical and stupid, but that's because you think traveling by plane is so much easier. And whatever happened to going to a foreign land for a taste of gee I don't know, foreign culture and scenery?
These days, all I hear is, "Hey lets go to Bangkok, because at Chatuchak, they sell LV bags for 10 dollars!!!111one!" No shit, I bet our everyone would be soooooo jealous with our new swag!
This is why I hate traveling with some of my relatives, especially my grandma. Sorry gran, but you walk too slow and have to rest every 10 minutes so it takes like an hour to cover a couple of streets. And god damn my little cousin, such a poser. I mean come on, you're only 11 and you think you know how to work a Nikon camera? Omg yay you've added like a hundred shitty pictures to my memory card, thanks kid!
Oh deary me, I seem to have gone off-topic. I'd like to end with something to think about.
The world is your playground, so stop hiding in the corner and come play.
Not that I've ever cared about my education since picking up that IT course, but this internship really sums up the amount of stuff I've learnt in poly. So with my shitty GPA, what's next for me? Going to a government university seems close to impossible, and going into a private one is just too damn expensive.
Just then I realised that the best direction in life is to go live like a nomad.
What do I mean? Well I don't mean literally live like one.. oh wait that's exactly what I meant.
I find it amusing when people say things like, "If I had a million dollars I'd travel around the world!" That's how much people these days have stopped relying on themselves. Whenever you think of a vacation, what's the first thing that pops up? An airplane; taking a nap on your seat while the pilot whisks you off to your destination. Food; choosing chicken over fish while your look at your menu. Movies; watching a quick in-flight entertainment. And finally, hotels and shopping centers; cause you know, you can only find those OUTSIDE your country.
Whatever happened to traveling by foot, or by a bicycle? You tell me its impractical and stupid, but that's because you think traveling by plane is so much easier. And whatever happened to going to a foreign land for a taste of gee I don't know, foreign culture and scenery?
These days, all I hear is, "Hey lets go to Bangkok, because at Chatuchak, they sell LV bags for 10 dollars!!!111one!" No shit, I bet our everyone would be soooooo jealous with our new swag!
This is why I hate traveling with some of my relatives, especially my grandma. Sorry gran, but you walk too slow and have to rest every 10 minutes so it takes like an hour to cover a couple of streets. And god damn my little cousin, such a poser. I mean come on, you're only 11 and you think you know how to work a Nikon camera? Omg yay you've added like a hundred shitty pictures to my memory card, thanks kid!
Oh deary me, I seem to have gone off-topic. I'd like to end with something to think about.
The world is your playground, so stop hiding in the corner and come play.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
What government job?
So, now that I'm done with my guide, I will return to my regular schedule.
I think getting to scan files turned out to be a blessing in disguise, cause I've had the opportunity to look into the files of many ex-staff and find out why they left. I was hoping for some drama within those nasty pages, and I wasn't disappointed.
The most common reason for leaving was the absence of any prospect at all. Just a few days ago, I heard someone from the HR Department talking to a potential staff over the phone. From the conversation, I gathered that the starting pay offered here for the same position is a few hundred dollars lesser than what other companies are offering. That's pretty sad. You'd think that a government organization would offer a more attractive salary scheme, but the ugly truth is that you'll probably be stuck in the same position for the rest of your working life. The hierarchy here sucks too; there are very few managerial positions available, so unless that said manager is removed, one simply can't progress as far as he'd like to at all.
What about the environment? I'm sure there are good points about it right? Well, yes and no.
Yes if you're working in one of their branches. Having been able to visit each one of those branch offices, I find the staff there friendlier and more relaxed, and I was able to have decent conversations with many of them. Back in HQ? Fuck no. It's a stiff sheet of awkwardness in there; like there's some kind of penalty for being pleasant, and everyone's all blank-faced and awkward. I guess that's what happens when you get stuck with an office job for too long. It literally steals your soul.
That said, I don't really want to give a fuck about the affairs of the office any longer. It's like I've stumbled upon a forbidden book and I desperately want to put that shit away, never to be seen again. People ask when I'm gonna be old enough to get used to working world, and truthfully; never. I don't want to learn the morals of society; which is utter garbage btw; and I don't want to be known as a working adult. I'm just me, and that's how I'd like it to stay.
Hi I'm Benjamin Lestrange and I'm one crazy motherfucker.
Who might you be?
I think getting to scan files turned out to be a blessing in disguise, cause I've had the opportunity to look into the files of many ex-staff and find out why they left. I was hoping for some drama within those nasty pages, and I wasn't disappointed.
The most common reason for leaving was the absence of any prospect at all. Just a few days ago, I heard someone from the HR Department talking to a potential staff over the phone. From the conversation, I gathered that the starting pay offered here for the same position is a few hundred dollars lesser than what other companies are offering. That's pretty sad. You'd think that a government organization would offer a more attractive salary scheme, but the ugly truth is that you'll probably be stuck in the same position for the rest of your working life. The hierarchy here sucks too; there are very few managerial positions available, so unless that said manager is removed, one simply can't progress as far as he'd like to at all.
What about the environment? I'm sure there are good points about it right? Well, yes and no.
Yes if you're working in one of their branches. Having been able to visit each one of those branch offices, I find the staff there friendlier and more relaxed, and I was able to have decent conversations with many of them. Back in HQ? Fuck no. It's a stiff sheet of awkwardness in there; like there's some kind of penalty for being pleasant, and everyone's all blank-faced and awkward. I guess that's what happens when you get stuck with an office job for too long. It literally steals your soul.
That said, I don't really want to give a fuck about the affairs of the office any longer. It's like I've stumbled upon a forbidden book and I desperately want to put that shit away, never to be seen again. People ask when I'm gonna be old enough to get used to working world, and truthfully; never. I don't want to learn the morals of society; which is utter garbage btw; and I don't want to be known as a working adult. I'm just me, and that's how I'd like it to stay.
Hi I'm Benjamin Lestrange and I'm one crazy motherfucker.
Who might you be?
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