Facebook Drama

In case the title wasn't clear enough, this should do the trick.

FACEBOOK DRAMA

Now the ridiculously hilarious drama between him and another girl, whom I will try not to name, is kinda puzzling to me, because according to her, they were once friends. Well so much for friendship on the internet guys. Sometimes people ask me why my closer circle of friends is so small, and I could not have asked for a better time to answer this question. See, I pick my friends carefully, so they don't go ape shit on me like ten days after we're "tight".

The second lesson we can learn from this is that, if you wanna start shit with someone, the least you can do is to type in proper English. It's hard trying to make up what you're trying to say if your level of English is like a four year old kid. I can't fucking take you seriously man.

Look at this:

GOT one GIRL ah she call me shallow low class all because she say I UPSKIRT GIRL ? this stopped bitch give her boyfriend dunno how many handjob blowjob , and she say its OUT OF LOVE ? Knn then u go eat his shit outta love la ? Drink the urine also la , LOVE WHAT ? Who more shallow sia ? Who more cheap sia ? Then still all her stopped GUY friends go help her like they NEVER UPSKIRT like that ? Knn all no lanjiao la all Lana bite off by parents la !

YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW WHO SHE IS ?? Confirm shock. Wan !!

How this guy thinks he's popular is beyond me. It's like a monkey who screams the loudest when he gets the most bananas from tourists visiting his enclosure. I wanted to use the word 'cage', but I felt sorry for him and wanted to give him some class. Hope it helps buddy. Oh and you're welcome, popo.

Which brings us to the last lesson. Please, please do some research on words before deciding to use something deep. 

This is his Facebook name: Popo Asphyxiates Panda
Popo - Slang for police.
Asphyxiates - to kill someone by depriving him of breathing
Panda - a fruit.

So, what his name really means is; police kills a panda by depriving it of breathing.
That's cute, but I don't think he's at that level where he has the ability to form sentences of more than three words. So I guess when he says things like, "me hungry." or "i dumb.", it's still somewhat believable.
I'll therefore just go ahead and read them separately, concluding that he loves the police.

That undying support, so noble, so touching.
Hey officer popo, allow me to quote some lyrics off a song for you.

You ain't never seen nothing so rugged at 90 Uh huh, motha'fucka with the cops behind me yo! The boiler's grinding, keep the cuffs, enjoy your doughnuts sir, you Ain't gonna find me - Celldweller - Shapeshifter

Oh snap.