Fame

What lengths do you go to obtain fame; the holy grail of the material world.

Over the past few weeks, I've got the answer.
So you'll need two things: a sad picture, and a picture of Jesus.
Oh, and you'll need to pump up your friend list too.

First things first, you need to ensure that your sad picture has one of the following themes:

Bald cancer patient.
A couple with either one of them lying unconscious. Oh and they should both be tattooed.
Starving African baby. (He must be suffering from malnutrition (bloated stomach))

As for the picture of Jesus, he must be calling you on your iPhone (other phones just don't make the cut, sorry ): ) and you can further enhance the picture by placing your phone on the Bible.

That said, lets carefully select our choice of words for the caption. For the picture of a couple, be sure to copy an old love story from years ago without changing any of the content, cause I'm sure people won't remember since it's just another love story right?
No matter what you may want to include, you HAVE TO make sure you get the ending bit right. It has to be guilt-inducing, like "Hit like and share if you're against cancer, and ignore if you're heartless."

Like oh my god, this is THE most original concept I've ever seen in my life! I mean why didn't I think of it! Well that might be slightly exaggerated cause when I was five, I pulled off something similar on my friend. I ran up to him and said, "Hey look, if you don't give me one of your sweets, i won't friend you anymore." I think he felt bad and gave me one, so if it worked back then, I'm sure it'd work now!

In fact it's pretty obvious, cause we ALL hate cancer and want to publicly denounce it, because I'm sure the cancer king will be moved by our sincerity and marshal his cells back to cancer planet. And who would ignore such a moving story about a dying wife struggling to save her marriage or a man of few words proving to his wife that the flower on the cliff isn't worth picking just yet. After all, these stories made me cry a river since I was 13! T_T

And my favorite is the incoming call from Jesus! I mean who knew heaven had its own mobile provider and God is actually personally calling me from above! Who wouldn't answer that! And why on Earth would I even suspect that it's really just a telecommunications company in China? That's just stupid.

So really, I'm deeply moved when I wake up in the morning only to find my Facebook wall spammed with people doing the honorable deed of sharing such heart-wrenching pictures. I'm sure they feel great about themselves cause everyone knows how hard it is to click on that 'Share' button. To all you heroes and heroines out there, you have my admiration.

No not really, shut the fuck up.