In My Shoes

It's hard to be me.
It's hard to be myself.

It's hard to walk in my shoes, to go a day in my identity, to go a day fighting the world.

I come back exhausted, both physically and mentally. There are times, when I feel like surrendering it all, the very life I've fought so hard to build - just so I can finally close my eyes and sleep my days away.

But you'd have to walk a thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see 
What it's like, to be me 
I'll be you, let's trade shoes 
Just to see what it'd be like
To feel your pain, you feel mine.
Go inside each others' minds,  
just to see what we'd find;  
look at shit through each others' eyes.  - Eminem - "Beautiful"

Pause

I apologize for the lack of posts recently. I've been going through a transition period that I'll probably need some time to get used to. No worries though, once that's over I'll be writing again.

A huge thank you to all my readers who've been putting up with my crap work sometimes and this keeps me going. It means a lot.

End of an Era

It finally came.
Next Monday marks the end of an era in one camp, and the beginning of another in a different one.
Even though I was the one who made this decision, I can't help but be apprehensive about what's to come. This chapter of my life has made me realise that I probably wouldn't have been able to make this decision alone without being afraid. I realised how vulnerable I really was, without the people I love around me.

If I were to face this alone, I probably wouldn't have it in me to.

Salut la familia.
Te amo.

Singa the Lion

So Singa the Lion resigned from his role as our national mascot for graciousness.
I know my foreign readers are like, "Wait, what, you guys need a mascot for that?!"

I feel equally disgusted, don't worry.

I'm not saying that I'm the kindest or the most gracious, but there are many simple practices like giving way, and not hogging the queue, that most Singaporeans still can't bring themselves to do. You know sometimes, I don't really blame them, because we come from a country that we're struggling to afford to live in. We're always rushing off somewhere, worrying that we might be late for something that could very well help us survive in this stressful environment. Like I've mentioned in my earlier post, it's a vicious cycle.

That said, it's still not an excuse to not be graciousness and kind; it's all about finding it in you to put aside your problems to help another person in need. I think Singaporeans are very passive in that sense that when they're facing problems, all they do is whine, instead of figuring out ways and means to solve their problems. They were brought up to just do and not question; eventually killing off whatever innovative characteristics they might have once possessed.

Now in Singa's resignation letter, which can be found here, one paragraph I found interesting is the one where he questions whether graciousness should just be practiced when times are good, when we don't have problems of our own. In short, when we can afford to. Of course, we all know that kindness is unconditional, that's why it's defined that way. Is it still kindness if there are strings attached, when we do it only because we have resources to spare? Probably not. Kindness requires a sacrifice of some sort, and until Singaporeans learn to stop being selfish, they'll never be considered a gracious society.

Oh Shit (Episode 2)

Well done me, another idea for a post down the drain as usual, and I'm typing this while trying to orientate myself back into the real world again. Weekends feel surreal to me - having a brain full of things to do, but with a body powered by scarcely any motivation of energy, I end up stoning my day away.

I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this I need to stop this

Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up 

Opinions - The Prosperity Gospel

I didn't mean to type another post about religion so soon, but last night, I watched a sermon by Dr Paul Choo about the Prosperity Gospel that has the world by storm, and this is my opinion on the subject.
Oh and, you can check out his video over here.

Now, I've always been a skeptic of religion, not because of the religion itself, but rather the dubious people who come along and preach it. There are instances when the sermon is so bad that I'm like "Stop ruining it, stop ruining it.." Anyhoo, lets get on with it. So in the video, Dr Paul explains what the Prosperity Gospel is about and how easy it is to quote a passage from the Bible out of context to justify anything you're trying to preach. But even way before this, I've always had my doubts about the Prosperity Gospel, or PG for short now, since I'm a lazy motherfucker.

For those of you who're asking, what exactly is PG then? It basically teaches us that God wants us to be abundant, both in health and in wealth, and to not possess either of them is a curse that has to be broken. It's really as easy as believing what the Bible says, and we'll be oh so blessed. Of course this attracts so many people, it's what the world needs today, the two most fundamental and essential things in life, RIGHT?
That's very true, if you're a part of the materialistic society.

Putting my own fuck-the-world beliefs aside, I personally think it's a little weird for God to actually talk about wealth and health in the Bible seeing as how the gist about the Bible was quite the opposite. THEN, there's this one parable about a rich man who asked Jesus about what he needed to do to go to heaven and have eternal life. Jesus then told him to follow the Commandments and to give up all his riches to the poor. The man basically told Jesus that he had done the first requirement, but was unable to do the second as he didn't want to surrender his wealth. Jesus then proceeded to tell his disciples who were standing there, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven." There are actually quite a handful of verses suggesting that Jesus wasn't really a fan of material wealth, as he himself came down as a poor man too. So question - why the hell would Jesus promote material wealth? Moreover, what kind of religion would it be, if it was solely based on the flimsy promises of personal gain?

Although Christianity is all about receiving salvation from God by accepting him into your life, it doesn't mean that he is also there to dispense money and health for your own pleasure. God is not your ATM, stop treating him like one. Then there's also this practice that comes with the GP, that the more you tithe, the more you'll receive. This is also just as weird, and it amazes me how some people seem to have forgotten what tithing means. And no, it's not some investment fund where you deposit your money in it and take it back and more a couple months later. In that case, why call it a church, might as well be just another investment firm.
It's about giving freely to aid the expansion and development of the church. In a certain church though, it has become the 'Help the Sunrise in Hollywood' fund instead. Hope the bold helps you understand what I mean though, if it wasn't already obvious enough.

That said, I think the reason why GP is so popular is because it doesn't preach about dealing with adversaries that come your way. And it works like a charm with society because it has developed this escapist mentality, that "oh if something bad comes my way, it's just a curse that I need to break with some faith in God.", which is bullshit, because adversaries are there so we can learn and upgrade ourselves, and how the fuck do you expect to do that if you sit on your ass all day praying to God and reading the Bible? Sometimes, you need to get out there and do something as well. Christianity isn't some kind of spoon-feeding religion where you just come in and expect God to do every single thing for you, like a babysitter that feeds you, clothes you, wipes your bum for you, blablabla. Did i also mention that God probably doesn't like lazy people either? In a way, GP is preached by lazy pastors who got sick of resistance and wanted an easy way to attract believers.

Even though I'm someone who isn't wholly faithful to my religion and obviously, I have issues with many aspects of it, I still know that there is more to Christianity than just material possessions.

Breakout

I recently had a conversation with a friend, who was telling me how busy her life has become. This is a rough idea of how it went.

N: You know I've been so busy with school and all that I hardly have time to even get a proper rest. All i think about is mugging for good grades, get a good job, earn money, just to stay alive in Singapore. I don't even have the means to migrate.

B: What makes you think you need a lot of money to migrate?

N: You need money for everything.

B: It just depends on what you're living for, and how much is sufficient for you. Why listen to what people tell you. If you want to do something, just go for it.

N: I wish. There will always be an obstacle in front of you, stopping you from doing so.


I realised how almost everyone here adopts a defeatist mentality. They see a challenge and get demoralised. Sometimes, I don't blame them, because the current state of our society in Singapore has made it this way. It is a place where people with unique dreams are smothered and suffocated, simply because there's no room for anything else other than continuous all-nighters to get into that top school, to get a top degree for a top job. And then it's 40 years of sitting in your office chair worrying about the security of your job, and wondering how the hell are you gonna put food on your family's table, or pay off the installments for your flat, or affording a vacation so you and your family can finally relax. The hard truth is - never. It's funny how the government here thinks that working til you're half dead is a good way of keeping older singaporeans occupied, as seen by their recent plans to increase the retirement age.

Umm, have you guys not heard of hobbies or vacation? It's a vicious cycle - you make every fucking thing here unaffordable and work the people half to death so they can afford it, all from the comfort of your posh offices. No wonder Singaporeans are so miserable and tired everyday. But you're just lucky that they're too stupid for their own good. Singaporeans, stop whining like bitches when foreign talents come in and "steal" your jobs. So they're more competent than you, boohoo, get better then. All this time you've spent raging at everyone, the foreign talents are constantly upgrading themselves. So please, if you want your jobs back, start improving yourselves as well. Stop that retarded arrogance thinking that you're better than everyone else - you're not, you're fucking garbage.

Also, I apologize for getting off topic and sounding like I'm pissed off. I'm not, but it's quite amusing to think that there are people out there with such ridiculous mindsets.

As for the conversation I had with my friend, this is what happens when you're stuck in the system for so long. You want to get out, but the stampede of people in the rat race kinda ushers you on. But enough is enough. For those of you who don't get Newton's Law of Motion that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, it really means that for everything you want to do in life, there's a price to pay, something that you're unwilling to endure. It then becomes an opposition. What happens when you're willing to pay the price then? You break the law, because when you go along with the opposition, it's no longer an opposition.

Quit following the law, and you'll be free.